You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
