The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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