Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
