dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
