You really coming over, don't trick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
