yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
