Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
