Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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