Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize