oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
