i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
