he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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