I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
