that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
