I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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