i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
