I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
