he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
