So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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