just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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