Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
