So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
