im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
