Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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