i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
