Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
