Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize