I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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