scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
