how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
