i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
