Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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