fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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