I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
