he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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