Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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