Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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