I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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