Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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