On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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