these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
