This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
