So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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