We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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