i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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