So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
