I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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