the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
