O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
