I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Less talking, more tequila
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
