i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
