good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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