dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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