Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
