You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
