Someone shit on the floor
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
