I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
