How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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