To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
