My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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