I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
