I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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