Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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