What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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