You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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